One of the main reasons we set up MHAG was to encourage residents in Redditch to talk about their mental health. However, that very much comes with the caveat these must be educated and informed discussions to further the cause, reducing stigma and closing the gap between mental and physical health. So for those who perhaps need a little gentle reminder, here's a (by no means comprehensive) list of some things it's just not helpful to tell someone with mental health issues *warning: may contain doses of sarcasm*:
You look okay: Well of course I do, I have a 'mental' health issue - the clue is very much in the name!
You should be grateful for all the good things you have in life: Mental health is not about gratitude, in fact the people I meet who are affected are often acutely aware of just how much their friends/family have supported them. There is already a lot of guilt associated with having a mental illness so piling that on just isn't helpful. Also it implies the person is choosing to be unwell.
You don't look like the type: What exactly is the type? One in four people are affected so next time you're in a room with three others look around and decide which one does look like the type?!
Does that mean you want to rip people's faces off all the time?: I was genuinely asked this by someone (who I respect and like a lot and who was definitely not trying to be hurtful) when I revealed I had a mental health issue. Despite films/television etc somewhat glamorising the issue and in the main only showing the severe end of the scale, most of us have no aggressive tendencies (except when asked questions like this!).
It could be worse: I read a brilliant quote once which went along the lines of 'telling someone they can't be sad because it could be worse is like telling someone they can't be happy because it could be better'.
Yeah I feel a bit sad today too: Clearly much work needs to go into educating people about the difference between 'low mood' and 'clinical depression' or 'feeling anxious' and 'anxiety' as this one is all too common.
It's just attention seeking: Many people with mental health issues entirely or partially conceal their illness and, even if you're close to them, you will probably not know how bad they truly feel. If we were attention seeking, we'd do something comical or outrageous, we wouldn't sit at home on our own feeling terrible.
Why are you sad when you're so lucky?: Yes, having a job/friends/family/a nice home etc does make you lucky. It doesn't stop you getting unwell. A tip for people who use this line - next time you see someone who's had a heart attack/stroke/cancer, go up to them and ask them why they feel ill when they are 'so lucky'. See how that one goes down!
Cheer up: Gee thanks, you've magically cured me!
I'll stop there as I could go on all day! Feel free to leave your pet 'mental health reaction' peeves in the comments though.
Harriet
"You have everything and your whole life is in front of you, there is no reason for you to be depressed" - Oh, and you're a qualified doctor?
ReplyDelete"I was down once, but I helped myself out of it" - It's good that you did that, but you can't just help yourself out of a mental illness. You need professional treatment.
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ReplyDeleteHoodies